Dishing up dinner

Lori Borgman

With everyone watching their calories, cholesterol, fats, carbs and proteins these days, planning a dinner party is no easy task. We have been trying to plan one for several weeks and have come to an impasse. Either we ditch the menu or lose the guests.

It all started when I reminded the husband that we needed to have the Surgoods and the Fossnagels over for dinner.

“Sounds good to me,” he says. “Why don’t you make a batch of lasagna, some garlic bread and that Italian crème cake?”

“Can’t,” I said. “The Fossnagels have both gone low-carb.”

“So cut out the garlic bread,” he says.

“It’s not just the bread,” I say. “I’d also have to cut out the pasta. The cake is history, too.”

We tossed a few options around then finally agreed that we should lose the low-carb Fossbanagels, keep the red-meat Surgoods and invite the Newtons.

“Wait a minute,” I say. “The Surgoods and Newtons don’t mix.”

“Bad blood between them?” the husband asks.

“No, the Surgoods are carnivores and the Newtons have gone vegetarian,” I answer.

“Not a problem,” says the husband, who loves a food challenge almost as much as food itself.

“Make your broccoli quiche. Lose the red-meaters and invite the Hellmans. Aren’t they vegetarian, too?”

“Yes, but they’re lacto-vegetarians. They eat dairy, but not eggs. Quiche is out,” I say, thumbing through my recipe box.

“Do we know anybody who’s not on food restriction? How about the Finkleys?”

“She’s gone South Beach, grilled seafood and salad, and he’s into beans and lentils. I can work with that.”

“Throw in the Dotmires and we’ve got a party of six.”

“Won’t work,” I say. “She just joined Weight Watchers and he’s on the raw foods diet -- won’t eat anything heated past 118 degrees.”

“Well, what about the Malloys? Is he still on that seafood diet, isn’t he? He eats everything he sees!” The husband enjoys a good food joke now and then. Or a bad one, too.

“Oh, stop it,” I snap. “They’re both under doctor’s order to scale back. They’re eating by color. Nothing white. No white flour, white sugar, white rice, white potatoes, salt.”

“Too bad we don’t know someone on an all-chocolate diet,” the husband sighs.

“We do,” I say. “Margaret -- one block over. Her skin isn’t great, but she’s lost seven pounds.”

We consider mixing a couple on the soup diet (clear base only), a Fit for Life couple and two singles who are anti-oxidant (dark leafy greens, blueberries, cantaloupes, nuts, olive oil and salmon), but remember one of the females has severe fish and nut allergies.

Two days later, I strike gold. “I think I have a group of eight that is food compatible,” I announce. “And I came up with a menu that should work beautifully.”

“Great! What are we having?” asks the husband.

“Spinach leaves, carrot sticks and water.”

“And for dessert?”

“Sugarless gum.”